If you are new to this blog, welcome! This section of the blog is all about learning, revelations and sharing with my fellow Above Average Crews so that they have more information than me when going through life seasons.
I have a lot of friend groups, some are old and some are new, but today, I am talking specifically about my group of friends that is the entrepreneurs turned friends but really just great associates group. Let me explain.
When you are starting on any path, the first thing you hear is to build your tribe. Your business babes tribe will change over and over as different things, life events and attitudes occur. I am going to take you through a recent event that happened to me and how I decided not to be dramatic and burn the bridge but change the foundation and many of you should too!
Related: Explore Couples Therapy
I received some great news for a really great opportunity that I am being considered for. I called one of my entrepreneur associates turned “friend” to help me get my hair together because I want to put my best foot forward. I want to go back to my “branded style.” The one that I used in my very first photo shoot and my logo is created after. It just makes sense for that to happen.
The following was relayed to me in so many words:
“I do not want you to have that style. I don’t want us to look like twins. (This person is not even going to be doing the opportunity) I have an extra bundle at my house but I won’t let you buy it from me. I don’t really want to help you but I will do it.”
She ended up providing me some online hair companies but nothing in the city so that does not help me because I need to pick it up asap. When I called her on it she said it was not her responsibility to help me with my issues and she asked me what I have done for her?
Pretty much, I received no help at all.
Now my expertise lies in web design, resume creation, digital and email marketing strategy and I have helped with all of that at no cost.
How she is with techy stuff is how I am with hair, I am just not the best at it. It would have made sense for her to help me since I have helped her with the above mentioned and more.
Now the old me would have tried to read her to filth but what good does that do? Everything is not meant for a response.
Here is how I chose to respond.
- When she called me back, I immediately addressed that I did not like her response and I felt it was petty. No one owns a certain style.
- Then I told her that I did not want her to help me, with that type of attitude I can only imagine how horrible that situation would have become.
- I did not fester on what happened but continued to enjoy my evening, join my book club and work on my to-do list. When I woke up, not acting on emotion, I called her and told her I would be removing myself from her admin and relayed that since she is no longer responsible for my issues, I will do the same and act accordingly to this new structure.
- I let her know about an event going on in the city for entrepreneurs to extend the olive branch and let her know that we are cool.
The Take Aways:
- Everyone is not meant to be what you consider a FRIEND and that is okay. See, I got upset because my other friends will have and did help me out without a second thought and I have done the same to them.
- I was very upset that she conveniently got amnesia when it came to all of the things she has benefited from this mutually beneficial relationship. However, that does not mean there was no value given and I did not turn the conversation to a tit for tat but looked at the bigger picture. If this person is not down to help me with this small opportunity, they would definitely not be willing to help with a big opportunity.
- I am able to still have a relationship and can utilize it for business or entertainment purposes without utilizing it on a personal “friendship” level and that is how it needs to be.
- Focus on those who are loyal to you without a doubt and Thank God for revealing those who aren’t as supportive as you need them and move on and enjoy your lit ass life!
- Don’t let anyone stop you from having the look YOU want!